| New: |
9 |
| All: |
1159 |
| Update: |
October 24, 2007 |
| zzz | 101 |
| qwerty | 57 |
| ase2000 | 43 |
| rick | 34 |
| ert | 29 |
| Naveed Ch | 26 |
| sido | 26 |
| jokes | 23 |
| pablo meira | 21 |
| mr.sex | 20 |
| colacoka | 19 |
| frat | 18 |
| martin | 17 |
| juki999 | 17 |
| amanda | 17 |
Car Hire in Denver
Paris Flights
Christmas Favors
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Holiday Jokes
| 1. |
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself." |
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mike 6.08 |
| 2. |
Holiday shopping
A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl. "Nothing but the best for my little kitten on Christmas."
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat." The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day, the old lady went to the store and bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies - one for each day of Christmas. The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food. Frustrated she went home, came back and brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies. The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.
The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there." The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, "That smells like crap." The little old lady grinned from ear to ear, "Now, my dear, can I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?" |
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cyber 4.83 |
| 3. |
Q: What is red, white, blue and yellow?
A: The Star-Spangled Banana! |
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margo889 4.80 |
| 4. |
The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
"None," answered little Norman.
"None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic."
"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!" |
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mike 4.40 |
| 5. |
Teacher: "Jenny, what do you know that has stars and stripes?"
Jenny: "A movies about a zebra!" |
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magee78 4.33 |
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